New work space - Supplement to Newsletter May 3
Yes, after nearly a year of silence, and my own deep personal transformational journey, I find myself with a new space of being and newly opened capacities to offer the world.
This has not come easily.
That year was no light frolic in the park I can tell you.
It was a year of the dark night of the soul, deep tears of frustration, grieving, sadness, and loss of hope, even a sense there would be no future and that what I was asking for would never happen and was not possible anymore.
It was a massive year and a half of facing the “I can’t have what I am asking for” and the “I’m not good enough's” deeply.
Was this the change I was asking for?
It sure was!
And, I’m not saying that it was an easy process. Because it was unequivocally, not.
I wasn’t expecting SUCH an enormous roller coaster that included letting go of so much fear. Fear around Death, around being a wise woman, an elder.
Fear of being on the shelf, or alone.
And I wasn’t ready to let go and go through the changes to how I view friendship, loyalty, love, romance, relationship, and partnership.
I was fighting.
And, it lasted until I decided enough was enough.
Yep that’s right, I looked at it, stared it in the face, and out loud stated that I wished that dark night of the soul to end, I was done with it, and I asked my being to complete whatever the patterning, journey, and change that I had required.
ASAP
It’s interesting to look back and to see the transformation right across all my subtle bodies from my physical and up through my highest planes of existence.
I have greatly changed.
I am lighter, yet more connected than ever.
My lifestyle has completely changed.
I have been doing art for over a year and have begun building up a Youtube presence and I love it and there has been enormous ease with it.
I do not care if I am daggy with it, even all the silly rambling moments while crafting during #the100dayproject I’m currently still on. Nope, not one ounce of self-berating or negative thought.
I have thoroughly enjoyed the mental stimulation of learning how to edit videos, speed up bits, drop out the hairdryer sound, put non-copyright music alongside the sped-up moments, crop starts and ends, and even begun a new exploration with abstract that I film, speed up and add some cool music to for Instagram TV.
And just yesterday I learned how to edit the movie frame so there’s no extra distraction around the view of me painting, and the view is zoomed in closer.
Abstract a day series starts here
I don’t particularly worry whether anyone watches.
It’s for me, and it’s fun.
And it has been the nourishment I needed to get me through that tough patch, so much so that as an art practice, it is now affectionately known as my husband, Mr Art Practice.
However, this is not all of me and I know it.
So, two months ago, I began to own it and own that I was a multi-disciplinary creatrix and have multiple capacities, and yes, that they CAN all work together. And I can do more than just one of them on a regular basis.
I began an intensive meditation practice and started back at the beginning with an easy yoga practice.
I detoxed and cleaned out not only physically, but also some of my more pronounced and limiting points of view.
You might think it was crazy to ask for people to turn up who were an extra 5% over that long nearly year and a bit process.
Yep, there were times I thought that too!
However, that is a journey and a story for another day.
I'll write a blog about that soon.
And, so here I am today.
After a week ago hearing the intuitive ping of 'it's time to re-open business."
My brains saying "Whaaaaaat???"
And then a light....
"OK THEN!"
If that’s what is required now. OK.
BE-coming more, and even deeper than before. Pulling back rather than projecting.
And the deeper I have gone, the deeper my surrender.
To let go and let God would have to be the closest way of explaining it.
I am handing stuff over that I struggle with.
Rather than fighting to change what I cannot.
And this past month, I've found a deeper connectedness to the higher planes.
This deep sense of surrender now has moved to a sense of coming home.
Home to me, to my lost heart.
It’s beautiful and terrifying at once.
None of us really wants to let go of control.
Yet, the new world is not about duality.
It is about holding gently, as healers, the balance of non-duality. The space in the middle where it is about heart, listening to intuitive responses, and making a new start.
I’m starting at the beginning with a grassroots style of offerings.
Simple.
And gentle.
A gentle start as the world reawakens stretches from its long rest during the 'reset', and people begin to see who they are now and begin choosing how they want their life to be now, with how much they have changed.
This has not come easily.
That year was no light frolic in the park I can tell you.
It was a year of the dark night of the soul, deep tears of frustration, grieving, sadness, and loss of hope, even a sense there would be no future and that what I was asking for would never happen and was not possible anymore.
It was a massive year and a half of facing the “I can’t have what I am asking for” and the “I’m not good enough's” deeply.
Was this the change I was asking for?
It sure was!
And, I’m not saying that it was an easy process. Because it was unequivocally, not.
I wasn’t expecting SUCH an enormous roller coaster that included letting go of so much fear. Fear around Death, around being a wise woman, an elder.
Fear of being on the shelf, or alone.
And I wasn’t ready to let go and go through the changes to how I view friendship, loyalty, love, romance, relationship, and partnership.
I was fighting.
And, it lasted until I decided enough was enough.
Yep that’s right, I looked at it, stared it in the face, and out loud stated that I wished that dark night of the soul to end, I was done with it, and I asked my being to complete whatever the patterning, journey, and change that I had required.
ASAP
It’s interesting to look back and to see the transformation right across all my subtle bodies from my physical and up through my highest planes of existence.
I have greatly changed.
I am lighter, yet more connected than ever.
My lifestyle has completely changed.
I have been doing art for over a year and have begun building up a Youtube presence and I love it and there has been enormous ease with it.
I do not care if I am daggy with it, even all the silly rambling moments while crafting during #the100dayproject I’m currently still on. Nope, not one ounce of self-berating or negative thought.
I have thoroughly enjoyed the mental stimulation of learning how to edit videos, speed up bits, drop out the hairdryer sound, put non-copyright music alongside the sped-up moments, crop starts and ends, and even begun a new exploration with abstract that I film, speed up and add some cool music to for Instagram TV.
And just yesterday I learned how to edit the movie frame so there’s no extra distraction around the view of me painting, and the view is zoomed in closer.
Abstract a day series starts here
I don’t particularly worry whether anyone watches.
It’s for me, and it’s fun.
And it has been the nourishment I needed to get me through that tough patch, so much so that as an art practice, it is now affectionately known as my husband, Mr Art Practice.
However, this is not all of me and I know it.
So, two months ago, I began to own it and own that I was a multi-disciplinary creatrix and have multiple capacities, and yes, that they CAN all work together. And I can do more than just one of them on a regular basis.
I began an intensive meditation practice and started back at the beginning with an easy yoga practice.
I detoxed and cleaned out not only physically, but also some of my more pronounced and limiting points of view.
You might think it was crazy to ask for people to turn up who were an extra 5% over that long nearly year and a bit process.
Yep, there were times I thought that too!
However, that is a journey and a story for another day.
I'll write a blog about that soon.
And, so here I am today.
After a week ago hearing the intuitive ping of 'it's time to re-open business."
My brains saying "Whaaaaaat???"
And then a light....
"OK THEN!"
If that’s what is required now. OK.
BE-coming more, and even deeper than before. Pulling back rather than projecting.
And the deeper I have gone, the deeper my surrender.
To let go and let God would have to be the closest way of explaining it.
I am handing stuff over that I struggle with.
Rather than fighting to change what I cannot.
And this past month, I've found a deeper connectedness to the higher planes.
This deep sense of surrender now has moved to a sense of coming home.
Home to me, to my lost heart.
It’s beautiful and terrifying at once.
None of us really wants to let go of control.
Yet, the new world is not about duality.
It is about holding gently, as healers, the balance of non-duality. The space in the middle where it is about heart, listening to intuitive responses, and making a new start.
I’m starting at the beginning with a grassroots style of offerings.
Simple.
And gentle.
A gentle start as the world reawakens stretches from its long rest during the 'reset', and people begin to see who they are now and begin choosing how they want their life to be now, with how much they have changed.
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